Great One Liners
· Light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off as a part of cost cutting!
· There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, my salary isn’t sufficient!!
· I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
· They can’t fire me, slaves have to be sold.
· Home is where the television is.
· Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
· Death is hereditary.
· Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
· Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
· When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
· Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
· Well done is better than well said.
· Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
· Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
· You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
· I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
· If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
· Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.
· The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.
· Where there’s a will there are five hundred relatives.
· I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.
· Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
· Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can’t blame on the government.
· There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
· An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
